Raising Mom and Dad

So, C is on her first ever sleepover. Yes, we've been anal about keeping her safe and haven't allowed her out on a sleepover. Ever. Tonight my baby will be sleeping in someone else's home for the first time. I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand I don't ever want her to leave the house but on the other she needs to experience things that her classmates have been doing for years. I am sure Himself feels just as torn as I do.

So, C, here's hoping you raised us well enough to let you go. Do. Become.

UPDATE : We survived the night and so did she.

Remake VS Original

Is it just me or is the Hollywood Machine churning out remake after remake after remake instead of coming up with new movies?

Just recently we had the Jackie Chan/Will Smith's kid remake of The Karate Kid. Really? Jackie Chan cast as Mr Miyagi? WTF....

Just as iconic...Footloose...as if anyone could ever replace Kevin Bacon!

Not to even talk about Fame, one of the iconic classics that just didn't translate all that well into the 00s.

It's all good, wanting to cash in on the feelings generated by a totally feel good movie but really? Why spoil a good thing?

The beginning of Apartheid?

Today the struggle movement fell flat on it's face. In it's wisdom (some might say vanity and others might call it plain windgatness) the ANC has voted for the Protection of State Information Bill, the vote was 229 in favour, 107 against with two votes abstaining. While it still has to go to the National Council of Provinces, in all likelihood this will be a formality only until it replaces Apartheid era legislation.

Way back when, when this country was controlled by white supremecists hellbent on eradicating black people off the face of their pristine white country, the freedom of the press was greatly curtailed. Then that freedom was fought for and won. Today it was lost again, lost or stomped on by the very people who fought for the right to vote, the right to live as everyone else has. The right to live as a human being and not an animal.

Alongside those same people who fought against Apartheid, the media of the day stood up and showed the world what was going on here. Showed the world images like the Sharepville Massacre, Hector Pietersen's body after he was shot by security police during the Soweto Uprising. Hector was 12 when he died. Without the press and press photographers taking these photos, the world would never have known of the brutal regime that was running this country, killing off it's own citizens.

Under the Apartheid government, the press was treated abominably. After the end of Apartheid, for the year 2010, we are ranked 38th out of 178 countries on the Press Freedom list by Reporters without Borders. After today's vote, I wonder what ranking we will obtain for this year?

Effectively, what this means is that government is protected and isolated from giving an accounting of practices like corruption and scandal. Media corporations will no longer be able to print stories (true stories mind you, not made up Heat Magazine rubbish) even if they have the information to do so.

Which effectively means, South Africa, that our country now stands on the brink of a media blackout blanket that not even the Apartheid era had us all covered in.

How then will the truth ever prevail? How then do we hold our country's leaders accountable for their gross misconduct, their corrpuption? How?

I thought I was over it

The hijacking that is. It's been 18 months and you'd think I wouldn't be having issues. But I am. I went to the local mall yesterday morning, just an average grocery run, nothing special. I parked, went in and paid for everything I wanted. When I came out to the car, I hesitated. Right next to my car was a ute with 3 young black men sitting in the open back. It took me probably all of 5 minutes to unload the cart and get into the car, all while my heart was beating up in my throat. I kept expecting them to jump out and do something, anything. Instead, they sat there talking quietly to each other while I had a mini breakdown. I felt ill when I got home.

The Tooth Mouse is revealed

C is very clever. I should have known sooner rather than later that one day she'd find out that Himself and I are the Tooth Mouse.

This morning started out pretty much like any other. She got out of bed, came to greet me and made herself some cereal. Then she asked if she could watch a bit of tv. I told her that while it was still too early (it was 7am) if she did her chores for the morning then she could. I made up a list for her and didn't think anything of it. Until that is, she came to me and asked me to write one specific word, a word that completely and utterly unmasked my alter ego.

See, sometime last year during a particularly viscious thunder and rain storm, one of her teeth came out. She put it in her shoe with a piece of cheese and went to sleep. At 5am the next morning, Himself and I woke as usual and realised that we'd forgotten to take the tooth and cheese the night before. As neither one of us had any loose change, I wrote her a note saying that due to the amount of rain, the Tooth Mouse had been unable to collect her tooth and signed it from The Tooth Mouse. She was very upset that her tooth was still in her shoe when she woke and that afternoon after school when I gave her the note she felt a bit better. That night, as soon as she was deeply enough asleep, Himself and I took the tooth and cheese and left her a bit more than we usually do. She was happy and we forgot all about it.

Until today. After I wrote the word she requested, she hauled out that note that the Tooth Mouse had left her and accused me in no uncertain terms of being the Tooth Mouse because the word on the note and the word I had written looked exactly alike. I burst out laughing. I couldn't help myself. I should have denied it all but she caught me totally unawares.

And clever little girl that she is, she said, no demanded, that the next time a tooth comes loose, we will be paying her. The Tooth Mouse might not exist but the money sure does.

Boy George can be an inspiration

Someone asked me a few days ago if I have ever considered writing about our past. I haven't. I don't think I have the eloquence and writing skills to do our country's past justice.

The best I can do is to be a witness to what has passed, what we are living in and what is to come. To raise J&C with the expectation that no matter what a person looks like on the outside, it is the inside that matters. Prejudice belongs in the trashcan with all the other rubbish out there.

The past week and this week there has been much discussion about being gay. The school play is running right now and as with any boy, wearing makeup is not something they would ever do willingly. Lipstick and blush is for girls not boys. Of course this hasn't meant that there hasn't been any teasing. Teasing and 10 year old boys go hand in hand, especially when makeup is involved. J came home last week a bit upset because some of the other boys called him a girl, sissy and said he was gay for not being bothered with wearing makeup. Until I showed him pictures of men wearing makeup. Who knew Boy George would be inspirational in that department? We spoke at length about why any man would want to wear makeup, have their nails done, get their hairy backs waxed...generally manscape. He understands it a bit better now, that just because you do all those girly things doesn't make you an aberration to be feared and generally made fun of. It doesn't mean that you are gay, it doesn't mean that you are. All it means is that you are a human being. Inside and out. And that being gay is perfectly ok with me. It's the love you have inside to give someone else that matters.

Conan : a review (aka Mommy's Cartoons)

So I gave in to my carnal desire and went to see Conan 3D this morning. I first saw the Arnold movie way back in the 80s. Meh. This one......OH ALL THAT IS HOLY! DROOL. Jason Momoa looks good in leather. Very good. So extremely fine. le sigh.

Oh you want to know about the movie? Well let's see....crap. I don't remember much after he came on screen. I mean really? You want me to remember a plot line and a story after seeing all of this? :





Way way WAY much better than the original. The story differs significantly from the 80s version and IMNSVHO is much better. Ok so seriously, the acting will never win any Oscars but who cares? For 2 hours this morning I enjoyed myself. Very much.

/did I mention I was alone in the cinema? :D

Gym agony and ecstacy

I went to Curves today for the first time in 6 months. Yes, I know. I've wasted almost R1000 the last 6 months. I've been a lazy sod, not going to deny that. It felt good. First, because while I am going to probably be a bit sore and stiff later today my body feels good. Second, when they weighed me in February I weighed 89kg. This morning I weigh 84. That's not bad considering I've stuffed my face countless times with really bad food, I've not been eating as well as I should and it's been so cold this winter I've guzzled my way through a swimming pool of tea.

Scout's honour and all that, I will be back there on Friday. And Monday, and Wednesday and Friday...you get the picture.

Snow paralyses South Africa

Yup. We've been snowed in in some parts. That's how cold this bloody winter has been. Roads between Durban (busiest port) and Joburg (filthy dirty busy freaking city) have been hit by so much snow that motorists were stuck on the road and had to be dug out.

http://lifeissavage.com/snow-in-south-africa-makes-prime-time-news-in-canada-they-laugh-video/

I'm a geek girl

and proud of it. Loud and proud. By geek girl I mean that I go for the traditional boy fantasy stories, those dark and epic sword and dragon tales written mainly by men for the geek in all of us.

I blame it all on an overactive imagination and the librarian at the local library who let me read Tolkien when I was 8 or 9. I've been reading fantasy with a bit of sci-fi thrown in for light relief for 32 years now. It started with Tolkien's Lord of the Rings and most recently Terry Pratchett, Chrisopher Paolini. And recently, George RR Martin.

I purchased the first two novels in Martin's Song of Fire and Ice series about 2 months ago. I must state here right now that I have not read them yet (it's a problem when you have such a vast choice of reading material when you purchase a Kindle!). I don't know when I will get round to reading them but I have been following the ongoing saga of Game of Thrones, an HBO series which started this week in the US and based on his books.

I have heard via the grapevine that there is a lot of graphic violence and sex. I don't mind graphic violence and sex in fantasy books. I prefer it to the schlock sometimes held up in highest regard where there are airy fairy storylines of the St George and his Dragon type, where the good boy soldier slays a dragon to protect his fair maiden. WTF is up with that particular storyline? Medieval times right here on planet earth was never all of that! It was a violent time, where people died in the most inventive and violent fashion. Rape and pillage was the order of the day.

While reading some book blogs, I came across the link for this woman's review of the show. I read it twice and then flung the mouse from me in disgust. Geek girls who like epic sweeping violently graphic high fantasy apparently are few and far between. She must think we all grew up playing house with our Ken and Barbie doll collections. (Hurk. I would never be caught dead owning a Barbie!)

To quote from her review : The true perversion, though, is the sense you get that all of this illicitness has been tossed in as a little something for the ladies, out of a justifiable fear, perhaps, that no woman alive would watch otherwise. While I do not doubt that there are women in the world who read books like Mr. Martin’s, I can honestly say that I have never met a single woman who has stood up in indignation at her book club and refused to read the latest from Lorrie Moore unless everyone agreed to “The Hobbit” first. “Game of Thrones” is boy fiction patronizingly turned out to reach the population’s other half.

Wow. How insulting, to just dismiss the fact that there are many more women out there who are just like me. Who adore high fantasy ala Dungeons & Dragons. Who prefer "boy fiction". I think someone has been spending too much time in lala land herself, where shows like Sex and the City reigns supreme. I will be waiting with breath held to see when DSTV decides it is a worthy show. We have True Blood already so I am sure this one will soon be bought for my viewing pleasure. I look forward to the day that my "boy fiction" will finally make it to the little screen.

Desks and mundane Sunday stuff

Just as it was nearing lunchtime our neighbourhood lost power. Once again Tshwane Metro Municipality astounds me with their utter lack of care when it comes to letting their ratepayers know that there is going to be a substantial break in services. J&C had fun though, and pizza for lunch.

Himself and I finally got round to putting their desks and chairs together so that they have a proper place to study and do homework. They've spent much of the afternoon sitting at their new desks.

Weather is awfully cold. Just your typical lazy Sunday today minus electricity. It came back on just after 3pm.

Music Saterday

Taking the mommy wars too far?

Over in SA's 10th province (otherwise known as Australia ;) ), there's a war brewing between moms and their government representative, Pru Goward (Aussie NSW's Family Minister). She found it necessary to attack a mom for bad parenting based on a photograph published in a newspaper of the woman walking across a road at a crossing holding her 3 month old baby and feeding her...with a bottle (if it had been a bared breast I would hate to imagine the further outcry there would have been).

The Family Minister accused this woman of endangering her baby by feeding her on the go, comparing her to Michael Jackson's famous lets-hang-the-baby-off-the-balcony incident back in 2002 in Berlin. She further stated (and I think this was even more of an insult) that she didn't think there was any woman or mother, even a hardened feminist, anywhere in the country, who would condone this woman's action. How wrong she is. Media personalities and others have come out against the Minister for her insensitive words.

The mother in question is a media personality who hosts her own radio show. To add insult to injury, Ms Goward also feels that the mother should never have returned to work 2 months after her baby's birth...working from home in a studio built specially for her.

Really? How antiquated a pov Ms Goward has.

I don't know about you, but life as a new mother with a brand new life is scary, fraught with indecision at every little thing you do. If Ms Goward had been a fly on the wall the first few months of J's life, she'd have locked me up for child endangerment and child abuse almost every single day.

His first night home from the hospital 4 days after his birth I managed to burn his entire mouth with the sterilising fluid I used to clean the breast shields I was using to breastfeed him. (No one had explained to me that I should dilute the liquid with water before cleaning them and I was too damn tired to read the instructions on the bottle.) Poor kid screamed until he couldn't anymore. Then he screamed some more. For an hour. I felt like an utter failure from the get go.

I breastfed him too many times to count in public toilets because the places I was at didn't have a baby room and I wasn't confident enough to breastfeed in public.

I changed his nappy countless times on the floor with just a baby blanket under him because the places we were at once again didn't feel the need to cater to their clientele who had babies.

He was born in February, the hottest time of the year. Countless times I let him sleep in just a nappy because it was so hot. I even took him out with just a nappy and tshirt sometimes if I needed to make a run to the shop for bread or milk in those first few months.

Oh the horror of it all! I should be locked up forever for endangering my child so.

Instead of berating a new parent how about we take a new tack on it? How about we support instead of rip the supoort out from under someone's feet? How about we give moms the chance to stay at home long enough without fear of losing their jobs? How about we work with moms instead of declaring war? How about we just leave other people alone long enough to get comfortable in their new roles instead of bashing them at every turn? How about we keep our opinions to ourselves instead of blundering in where we are clearly not needed...or wanted?

Hoarding stuff

I am a hoarder. There I finally said it. I cannot bear to throw anything away. I have boxes and boxes and BOXES of crap everywhere. I think it is time I start clearing out some of this stuff and getting rid of it. I need to declutter my life and my house. I'd show you all pictures of the hoarde of crap I have but I am too embarrassed.

Storms and routers

How to blow your router - leave the phone line plugged in during a thunder and lightning storm of epic proportions. That is what I did last week. You'd think I know better, but no, I unplugged the power and left the phone line in. Ok so it was 3am in the morning and I was in a zombie like comatose state when I unplugged the damn thing. Still, I'd have thought Himself would have unplugged it the night before, being an IT specialist and all.

Braces

C got her braces 3 weeks ago. At first they hurt but now they are fine. She brushes her teeth in her bottom jaw every morning and just before bedtime. I brush, clean, and brush again the teeth in her upper jaw. She chose purple and pink bands. I think she is impressed with her braces. Everyone in her class loves that she has them. She's the only girl in her class that has braces (twin boys have but boys don't count apparently) and every time she opens her mouth the other girls squeal and make a comment about the braces. C is also a drama queen deluxe so this centre of attention thing she has going is right up her alley.

J hasn't teased her at all, his bff S tried but J told him to stop. Big brother went balastic on his friend. Poor kid. He won't be teasing anyone again in a hurry.

Along with the braces, she has had to embrace a whole new way of eating :

No gassy drinks (not that we live off the stuff, she only ever drinks coke zero at the Spur a few times a year and at parties she gets invited to, which is also a few times a year).
No sweets (not even marshmallows).
No sugary treats or biscuits (gone are the rusks she likes to dunk in her morning tea sometimes and the melted marshmallows inbetween marie biscuits).
No nuts of any kind.
No droe wors.
No biltong.
No mielies.
No popcorn.
No chips.
No chewing meat off bones (my little carnivore really struggles with this one).

Everything must be cut up into bite size portions. She can't bite anything with her front teeth for the next 9 months.

Her school lunches went from sandwiches with ham, or peanut butter or wraps with chunks of chicken strips to sandwiches with marmite and cheese or a thin spread of smooth peanut butter cut into tiny pieces, fruit cut up into small pieces, cooked carrots diced or grated fresh, sweetcorn mixed with bits of ham. She meticulously checks the lables on all food products to see if it contains any sugar. If it does, she doesn't eat it. Yesterday I treated J and his friend S to cheese rolls with strawberry jam, a coke in a glass bottle (gotta love the old fashioned bottles) and a 7Up. C had a slice of brown bread cut into 11tybillion pieces with some butter and a thin layer of strawberry jam and a bottle of water.

Breakfast is ok now. She loves Special K but hates it warm so we switched to oatmeal with vanilla, green food colouring and a bit of butter with milk. Dinners have become times to really experiment with food. Last night I made mini meatball curry with sweet potatoes and carrots. She ate more vegetables than meat, even though the meatballs were small enough to cut in half and put in her mouth. She's eating more healthy now than she ever did before (tomatoes are still a huge no no though but we are working on that one).

She is living for the day 6 months from now when the orthodontist takes those braces off. She's started a list of all the things she is going to eat on that day.

Imaginary friends

J has a classmate who has a girlfriend. An imaginary girlfriend. He's kissed her, they've broken up, he likes her. He misses her. J thinks it's weird that his classmate has an imaginary friend. And that she's a girl. See, girls are horrible creatures. They are not worthy of a boy's time. They exist solely to plague boys (of course it doesn't help that his nemesis is a girl, and that she teases him all the time). (Secretly I am so frigging stoked he still thinks this way about girls! But I digress.) What has J so freaked about this imaginary friend is that his classmate talks about her all.the.time. Like, get into trouble talk which gets you sent to the Headmaster's office. Yes, he spoke so much about this imaginary girlfriend yesterday that he ended up disrupting the class and was sent off to have a chat with the Headmaster. Poor kid.

In my day, imaginary friends were friends who always got the blame for putting socks on the cat's paws, or eating the last of the jelly and custard, or who wrote on the wall, or who busted your bike because they told you to try and stand on the seat while going at warp speed down a gravel road. Downhill. With no brakes.

I'm in love with a serial killer

Yes, I love me some Dexter Morgan. His Dark Passenger is a delightful character. Michael Hall is just divine as the devlish serial killer with a (moral) code. Of course I first met Dexter on tv in the series. Now I am getting to know him in the books. Even better.

Survival guide : Stolen vehicles

After spending a couple of hours twiddling our thumbs at the Centurion Police satelite station vehicle clearance centre at the testing centre, my little car is no longer on the stolen list! After all the phoning around and just about speaking to every single police officer in the area we're done...until it happens again that is.

A few observations for those poor sods who ever get caught up in the Stolen Vehicle Twilight Zone :

1) Expect to stand in loooooong queues.
2) Expect to be treated worse than a criminal if you are white (yes, I know, I should stop being so damn sensitive and give some black people in this country a chance but when you are spoken to and treated as if you're a piece of shit on the bottom of someone's shoe just because of the colour of your skin, then the Rainbow Nation is not so Rainbow anymore now is it?)
3) Expect to be sent from one department to the other with no one knowing what it is you are supposed to do.
4) Make copies of EVERYTHING! Including the police file if you can.
5) Get everyone's name, telephone number and superior's details. It helps.
6) Make multiple copies of your ID book and the car vehicle registration papers.
7) Take a book, bottle of water and something to snack on, it's a long wait.
8) If you have a recording option on your cell phone, USE IT!
9) Be nice, nice is good. It doesn't help you shout and scream obscenities at the people you encounter along the way. Sometimes they really don't know how to help you and shouting at them just makes it worse.
10) Be prepared, keep 11tybillion pens and pencils in your handbag or car.

Above all, be vigilant, try not to be a victim of a crime. Sucks but that is the reality.

A good deed punished

Today I thought I would be a better person than I normally am and offer to help someone with no regard to myself.

After dropping J&C off at school and on the way home, I drove past a man on a motorbike who had stopped alongside the road and was trying to adjust what I thought was a bag in front of him. It wasn't. It was a child of about a year old. He very obviously could not control the motorbike and the child so had stopped. I stopped and rolled my window down, offering to help. He was incensed that I would even imply he shouldn't be driving so dangerously with a very young toddler inbetween his legs on an uncontrolable vehicle. I drove away in disgust.

I feel sorry for children whose parents think so little of their lives.

CTFM Southdowns - a review

Last Friday Himself decided to treat the family so we went to Cape Town Fish Market in Southdowns mall. We'd been there with friends before and thought J&C would enjoy seeing a sushi bar and eating off it. J is into sushi big time right now and he and I treat ourselves to a few pieces every other month. C....not so much a fan.

We sat down at the table first, just to make sure the kids really wanted to try the sushi. Then we sat at the sushi bar. Between J, Himself and I, we had 7 different dishes. C tried one but ended up eating the rice and not the fish.

The first time we were there, we'd found the service really slow. Not any different this time either and the place was only half full. I don't know what it is about a restaurant that is about half full. Every time we eat out somewhere and it is half full, the service slows down. It's weird.

J had calamari and chips, C had steak (yes my carnivore struck again ;) ) with chips. Himself tried the Sizzler, a seafood mix with prawns, calamari strips, mussels and bits of fish in a peri peri sauce. I had a combo of fish of the day and calamari strips. We ordered a seafood noodle dish for all to share.

The prawns in the Sizzler....6 heads without bodies and 3 tiny prawns, no sign of bits of fish. My fish of the day was the tail end and so overcooked I couldn't even taste what species of fish it was. The calamari was great though. Kids enjoyed their meal.

When the manager came round asking how the meal was, Himself showed him the last of the heads he'd just removed from the sauce and wanted to know if that was what it was supposed to look like. He said no and immediately arranged for our waitress to get him 6 more prawns.

For R600 which included 4 soft drinks and two beers, it wasn't a great meal. The sushi was really good, J outdid even my expectations of how much he enjoys it.

Rating : 4/5 (originally 3/5 but an extra point for the manager organising more prawns)
Service : Not great. Expect long delays between courses

Indie Authors

I was fortunate enough to be given a Kindle last year October and have been having some great fun downloading samples and buying books. I'm a diehard print fan though so won't be giving up my addiction to Exclusive Books just yet!

However, the one thing that has really changed my reading experience has been talking to authors of the books I have been reading. How cool is that! I would never have thought to even contact the author of a book I enjoyed a year ago.

It has also introduced me to a whole world of Indie authors I didn't know existed. One place is The Indie Spot, a website dedicated to bringing readers and authors together where authors are not restricted in advertising their books and readers have access to their favourite authors. It's been a refreshing experience and one that I hope will continue for many many years.

Incompetence at it's best?

On the 27th of May last year, I posted about being hijacked at gunpoint and it's aftermath.

In December Himself had to renew his vehicle licence and enquired why we hadn't received a notificiation for mine which was due then too. He was told that the database showed it was a stolen vehicle and therefore no renewal notice had been sent out. We couldn't do anything about it then as Himself was flying out the next day to join us in Cape Town on holiday.

Since we've been back, he's been calling the entire countryside trying to find out what we have to do in order to get the vehicle cleared as a recovered vehicle so that we can carry on with our lives and not worry about it.

The day after the hijacking Himself and the detective overseeing the case drove to Waltloo testing station, they did all of this there and then. It was cleared dammit!

Himself now has to take a day's leave, drive out to Waltloo and stand in a queue, show the vehicle to the police and get a receipt. Then he has to stand in another queue, show the person behind the counter the receipt and request a new vehicle licence. Why the fuck didn't the idiot who was on duty on the 28th of May 2010 do all of this there and then? Why?

Fangs

Metal mouth

C has to have two milk teeth taken out today. Poor kid. It all started two weeks ago when I took her to see the dentist about a hole in a milk tooth. He cleaned it out, filled it and then sat me down for a talk. Her mouth is too small for all her teeth he said, and as a result some of her teeth on the top have come out behind the others. Way behind. He recommended a few orthodontists. We saw a really good one last week who recommended braces for C's top front teeth for now. The two milk teeth are in the way and have to come out before he puts the braces on in March. She gets to wear the braces for 8 or 9 months.

Back home, J (the little bugger) started joking around about her soon to be put in braces. In a way I am glad he did, his teasing is only the start of what is going to come.

She was very upset about the teasing so we spoke about the coming months, the treatment and what it is going to do for her and why it is so necessary. She understands why it has to be done but is not at all happy about being teased for it.

Still, I pity her. Children can be nasty and cruel for no reason. I'm going to make sure that the Tand Muis (Tooth Fairy) leaves behind a huge pile of loot for the teeth tonight.

American Idols 10

Tonight sees the return of the American Idol show on DSTV. I think this year I might actually watch. Steven "fuck a duck and see what hatches" Tyler is so far the star of the show! And of course there are the nutjobs who make the show what it is in the audition rounds. Those contestants who dress up and think that their costumes will make up for their serious lack of vocal talent...then stand there in shock when told no, they are not good enough.

I didn't watch much last year because really, 9 seasons already? Have people not had enough?

Apparently not.

Ah 2011, how good you are!

Belated Happy New Year to all my adoring fans! :)

I hope that 2011 has started out on a great note and if not, that it soon picks up on a more positive note.

After a month long holiday, J&C have started grades 4 and 3 respectively, Himself is back at the grindstone, and I get to enjoy my Kindle!