Guess where I am?

Yesterday I got onto a charter flight and flew a couple of hours up north...across a stretch of ocean...over Mauritius....to the Seychelles.

Last night we had dinner at Adam & Eve in the Constance Ephelia resort, this morning we had breakfast in their breakfast area and I have just come back from a half hour of utter relaxing luxury. I had a neck, shoulder and head massage. Jealous? ;) Wait until I post the pics....

I could live here all year round. It is gorgeous, the staff are friendly and helpful...See you all again next week. Sometime. Maybe.....:)

HA! HA! HA!

So Telkom has this awesome competitive brand new product on the market - the 8ta brand. They had a huge launch party last Thursday night with live music and all sorts of goodies for invited guests. Guests who, due to the stringent new RICA laws, had to send in all sorts of paperwork so that they could get RICA out of the way before the launch.......

Except they didn't. Now they have cool new phones with some call time but no way to use it yet until they get RICAed, again.

WTG Telkom!

October 15

It's International Infant and Pregnancy Loss day today.

This year, a Wave of Light ceremony is planned across the globe. All you have to do is light a candle at 7pm in whatever time zone you find yourself, and leave it lit for an hour.

This is to commemorate and remember all those parents, mothers, grandparents, sisters, aunts, children who have lost a baby or a pregnancy for a multitude of reasons. And to remember those babies that have died.

My thoughts today are with each and every person who has gone through the pain of losing a pregnancy, losing a baby, losing that dream of a life with a brand new human being. The pain of losing a child stays with you forever, hidden away in your heart, the raw wound getting smaller with each passing year. Until one day you remember without the pain. Light a candle tonight at 7pm and remember.

In my heart, always, Sam.

Most useless gadget?

While puttering around on Facebook this morning I saw an add for this product. Now normally I ignore the crap on the right hand side of my screen on Facebook but the description just intrigued me. It's a sticker you stick onto your chest, between your boobs and your chin, just before going to bed at night. Tomorrow morning you wake up and voila! No more chest wrinkled.

Dude, like, isn't this one of the most useless gadgets out?

It's a dog's life....

Vampires

I will preface this post by saying that apart from watching the first Twilight movie, I have not read any of the books nor seen any of the other movies.

However.....

According to popular culture, Real Vampires

* have fangs
* are whiter than OMO can wash your whites
* fuck like there's no tomorrow (sex and blood go together like bread and butter)
* are practically immortal
* have an aversion to wooden stakes
* burn when touched by sunlight like a KKK wooden cross doused in petrol at night
* have no conscience
* are dead
* therefore cannot breed

According to Stephanie Meyer, Twilight Vampires

* have really strong teeth
* sparkle like diamonds (redifine bling) when sunlight hits their skin
* are all breathy and sigh like a Victorian virgin on her wedding night
* make boring love
* live at home with mom and dad
* play extreme sports at night
* breed

I don't know about you all but I prefer my vampires in the midst of a blood and sex lust with a killer techno soundtrack ala Kate Beckinsale in Underworld.

Difficult discussions

Some mornings J&C like to tackle difficult topics of conversation. This morning, C told me about her little friend whose parents are divorced. Her father hasn't seen her basically since her birth and has no interest in her life or her sister's life. Her mom is a single, unsupported but for friends, mother who works difficult shifts and odd hours. It boggles my mind that a man could have a child but choose to ignore that child so completely.

This in turn led to an answer-question session. Are you and dad getting divorced? What will happen if you do move out of the house? Who will we stay with? Why do you argue? Are you happy? Do you love each other?

As always, I tried answering these tough life questions in a manner that was truthful and didn't sugarcoat problems in the adult world. They mostly understood what I said and how I answered, I hope. Can't wait for the next topic they decide to talk about!

I've been thinking about that little friend all day.

Wax on, wax off

I had an early morning torture session appointment to have my nether regions waxed again. While this beautification torture was going on and the thrillingly meditative music was playing, all I could think of was Mr Miyagi telling Daniel-san "Wax on, wax off."

[disclaimer : not the fake wanna-be redo of the classic original starring Will Smith's kid but the one starring Ralph Macchio]

Questions parents dread being asked

C had a playdate yesterday so it was just J and I. I took him with to PnP for some retail therapy. On the way there, he asked how old you have to be to become a grandmother.

Now the two Oumas are both over 60. Himself and I were far too lazy to do the whole get-married-out-of-high-school-and-start-popping-babies-out-right-away thing. We started dating in 1988, got married in 1997 and had J in 2001. A whole 13 years after first meeting. Naturally the Oumas were concerned that 1) my eggs were dying faster than they could ever be impregnated, 2) they would never ever ever get to hold grandchildren and 3) we'd be ancient if and when we ever did procreate. I think at one point the Oumas were so desperate they were willing to forego the usual white wedding just to hold a baby.

Nevertheless, we went on to produce 1 more before calling it quits and closing up the factory.

So, how do you answer that? I thought for a long minute then said that there is no right age to become a grandmother. J persisted. I dodged. Then he changed tactics and asked how old he should be when he has a child. Remember now, this is a 9yo kid who hasn't even noticed there are such creatures as girls. And that those same girls are even remotely interesting in any way other than to play rugby with.

I started by saying that you become a father when you meet someone you love enough to want to live with marry and then a while later you both decide to have a child (silently still debating live with vs marry). He thought for a minute (by this time I was pulling into a parking spot) then asked how you have children. Okay. Where's Himself when I really need him?? Isn't it the father's job to have The Talk with their sons??

He asked again. Loudly. The waiter outside Wimpy turned to look in my direction. I walked past. No way was I stopping there for a quick milkshake and a frank discussion about sex with my 9yo son!

After a few minues J asked again. I really tried to dodge the question this time but nope. He wanted to know. So I asked if he knew what sex was.

Yes, he says, that's when a male and female mate with each other.

Oookay. (Been watching a few too many Animal Planet shows.)

So then the mommy carries the baby in her stomach.

Right. Yes.

So how old do you have to be to put the baby in the mommy's stomach?

Um. Never Oh 25?

That's old.

Yes my boy, that's real old.

How old was dad?

33.

Wow, that's like really old.

Yes my boy, that's really old.

So do I have to be that age too?

No my boy, you can be a dad at any age you feel ready.

Oh. Okay. Can I have some chips please?