Friday, November 13, 2009

Freaky coincidence and LOL Friday

Himself is currently on a prop plane to Botswana. He sent a photo to me while still in the air. At the same time I got it, Annie Lennox's Little Bird started playing on the radio. The bit about wishing for wings to fly away....that was playing as I opened the link to the photo...

Because I am a man...

when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling the AA is not an option. I will win.

when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.

when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.

I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like beer, milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" and "tofu". For all I know, these are the same thing...

when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that it will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it...though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator...

I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay, I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick something up for my mother too.

you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you are crying at the end of it, I didn't...and if you are feeling amorous afterwards, then I will certainly at least try to remember the name and recommend it to others.

I think what you are wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.

and this is after all, the year 2009, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming and the dishes. I'll do the rest, like wandering around the garden with a beer wondering what to do.

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