When you are a 40 year old woman

they see you coming. They see you coming from faaaaar away.

Had my annual pap smear today (she's using a brand new plastic speculum thingy and a "new technology" swab thingy). When she realised I was almost 41, she smirked....then said "There's your referral for your annual mammogram. Once a year from now on please, once you turn 40 you have to go every year. It's preventative you see."

Work functions

I enjoy watching people. It's a major hobby whenever I am out and about. So at Himself's work function on Wednesday night, I had ample opportunity to people watch. Until I found someone who is English, lives in Cape Town and was super easy to talk to. They are such rare creatures in Pretoria.

Until that point, I was sort of enjoying myself. I'd had a glass of good wine and the pre dinner snacks were really tasty (By Word of Mouth - awesome caterers!). I had more in common with the wait staff than the work staff but hey, beggers can't be choosers right? Except maybe on occasions like this.

Topics of conversation amongst the women revolved around what's the latest cosmetic surgery going, what the maid at home is doing tonight (looking after my kids doll! And I didn't even have to pay her extra!), to everyday mundane things like how do you cope with the school traffic, most of which really didn't appeal to me. My wine, which had nothing to say, was more interesting.

The highlight of the night, meeting a certain famous rugby player who scored that magnificent drop kick that assured South Africa of the win in that world cup. I remember him for other reasons though. I remember him trotting out on the Newlands fields on many occasions playing for Western Province.

Himself and I staggered home at 1am, not because we'd had loads to drink. Oh no, it was more a case of when you are over 40, you should really be getting to bed at 9pm and not staying out past your bedtime. Thursday was a killer. Friday I am starting to recover.

Wax

At the ripe old age of 40 I have finely found out what it feels like to have your pubic hair removed by hot wax.

ALLTHAT'SFRIGGINHOLY!!!WTF WAS THAT!!!!!!!!!!

Ja, it was sore. Then she did my eyebrows.

A gym membership

I'm a fat 40yo woman with curves in places whoever created us most certainly never intended. I have a stomach that wobbles like jelly whenever I lay on my back and laugh. I look like a beached whale when entrenched under the duvet in the middle of winter.

Due to my fatness, I have reflux, high cholestrol and a lazy arse that loves the couch. And chips with dip. Hey I like food ok?

Cardio Guy told me in January that I needed to exercise at my yearly appointment. It took a while but here I am, fresh from having paid an arm and a leg to join my local Curves. I start my first round of torture on Monday, followed by Wednesday and followed by Friday.

My survival plan includes :

1 Not turning into a gym bunny.
2 Drinking lots of wine.
3 Sweating so much that no one will want to talk to me.
4 Coming home and passing out on the couch mumbling insanely.
5 Drinking lots of wine.

So, that's the big 4-0 then.

Ja, the BIG 40 has come and gone. And, just like 30, I still feel the same. It didn't bother me nearly as much as 3 of my friends seem to be bothered. I'm officially the oldest in our group. Radioactive Friend turns 40 next. She's ok but antsy about it being a totally new decade. Beancounter just keeps burying her head in the sand. She's not quite living the reality of a soon to be 40 year old.

I told everyone I was celebrating the anniversary of my 21st birthday, more as a joke than anything else.

I'm quite looking forward to the next decade. I have a feeling great things are going to happen.

According to this site, 2010 will be my most financially rewarding year, I'll be at odds with Himself, doing some minor home renovations, I should really start up my yoga class again and I need to start making some shrewd business investments.

Guess I better get cracking on the stock market then...