Merry Christmas!

Another hour and it will officially be the 25th of December. Santa has dropped off all the loot for those who made the Nice List this year, kids are fast asleep in anticipation. Gammon is nearly done, leg of lamb is almost falling off the bone tender, two trifles are maturing in the fridge...all that remains is for J&C to wake us up at some gawdawful time tomorrow morning declaring it present time, oh and TGU needs to hurry up and have a safe quick drive from home to Hermanus.

Have a great Christmas this year, hope you are all with your loved ones eagerly anticipating a celebration of life, love, food, happiness and family.

The sun isn't free anymore!

I thought I'd heard it all until I came across this little snippet.

She claims to be the owner of the sun, she wants to charge everyone on the planet for using her product.

I wonder how long it will be until someone sues her for the damage her product is causing to the human race as far as cancer is concerned.

Mortality

I volunteered to caption photos on the eGGSA database gravestone website, a huge tool for genealogists. My first cemetery is the memorial wall in Hermanus.

If you have ever been in Hermanus, you'd know that the community itself is largely made up of old people. Grandparents. With the younger family members usually joining their parents and grandparents during school holidays and over weekends. (Disclaimer : As the older people die or move to a retirement village, younger people are buying up the properties so the community age is slowly changing, and of course developers are buying up parcels of land all over the area and building multi level blocks of apartments.)

A few things I have noticed :

1 - When you are married for a very long time (45 years and more) and you die, your partner usually follows within 2 to 3 months.

2 - Sometimes age doesn't matter, especially if you are a woman and born in the first 15 years of the 1900s. You can be older than your husband.

3 - Our grandparents' generation has probably lived longer than we will. Even with a low life expectancy in the first few years of the 1900s.

4 - People my age are starting to die.

I've never really thought about the type of funeral I want or the epitaph, if I want one. I would not like to be buried, that I do know. A memorial stone in a garden of rememberance....I don't know if I want that either. For now, I've put it in my will that my ashes be scattered, that is if J&C or Himself end up honouring my wishes. Basically I don't want my body to rot in a grave.

I still like the idea of a Viking funeral though, no fuss, no mess, just a blaze of flames and it's done.

Time to let go?

In January of 2002, when J was 11 months old, Himself and I flew to London and then on to Australia with J.

This was just after 9/11, things were crazy mad at airports. You couldn't take anything with you on the plane. When it came to food for J, it was a nightmare to comply. While in London, we spent a morning walking around the Tower of London complex and had lunch in their caffeteria. I bought a couple of jars of baby food, firstly because it was organic and secondly because I think by then J was a bit tired of the oatmeal I'd packed in.

When we finally came back home a month later, I found a jar of food in the nappy bag so put it away fully intending to feed it to him at some point.

Today, 9 years later almost, I finally tossed it. I think it was time, don't you? :D

Knight and Day

Don't waste your money.

I think it is time Tom Cruise hangs up his (un)skillful acting hat and becomes a permanent spokesperson for Scientology. He'd do better selling their cheesy imitation religion than he does selling himself as a secret agent.

I kept expecting the cast from Debbie Does Dallas to jump out kaalgat and do their thing because the soundtrack sounded so damn cheesy. I would have fallen asleep watching it but the toilet break and shower I had in the first half revived me too much. And Himself would have been offended that, yet again, I did not enjoy a movie he chose.

I've won the blueberry battle!

I posted a long while back about how J is a vegetarian and how C is a carnivore. For the longest time I have found myself back at the dinner table struggle with C. J is quite content to eat mostly vegetables (he's slowly abandoning the idea that meat is all bad but still loves a plate piled high with just veg) and enjoys all kinds of fruits. C however, fights me tooth and nail to eat healthy and more diverse. She'd live on a diet of meat, meat, meat, sweet carrots, meat, cheese and bananas, strawberries with ice cream and peanut butter. Every once in a while I buy blueberries, hoping to tempt her into at least trying one berry. But no, she pulls away in disgust every single time.

So you can imagine the horror on her face yesterday when I showed her what I'd bought besides all the meat. A punnet of fresh blueberries. No biggie I told her, she didn't have to eat it. J and I would.

This morning while making their school lunches, I cut up some fresh strawberries with pieces of pineapple for her and added a handful of blueberries to J's. She stood watching me eat a handful myself and when I held one out to her, she ate it. Absolute disgust all over her face. Then I held out two more. She took those and ate them too, same look of horror and disgust combined. Then a few more, still with the disgust. When I started to close the punnet, she came round the counter and very politely asked if I would put a few in for her too. I nearly passed out.

The little container has about 30 blueberries in it....I wonder how many will be eaten and how many will find their way back home. Actually I don't care if any make it back home, just the fact that she ate a few this morning and asked for more must surely mean I'm slowly getting through to her?

The Gatsby

I was cruising on my favourite mommy website when a thread about food porn from your particular neck of the woods came up. One of the items I shared was the Gatsby. Now if you've ever lived in or near Cape Town you will instantly know what I am talking about....that rather intimidatingly large roll filled with everything under the sun including slap chips, dripping sauce everywhere. Usually shared between a few office mates for lunch over a bottle of coke.

While searching for pictures to post on the thread to show what a Gatsby is, I came across this lesson in how to eat a Gatsby from funnymail.co.za. It is spot on from what I remember.

1. Keep the time between purchase and consumption of the Gatsby as short as possible. Cold chips are no one’s friend.

2. Cut the Gatsby into a maximum of four pieces. Anything smaller is a gross injustice to the Gatsby because there’s no way you’ll be filled by a fifth or less.

3. Any chip falling from any given piece of the Gatsby is considered fair game. The ruling on this is final.

4. When separating the Gatsby, note the point of division: practice absolute precision here to avoid taking the bottom roll of the next person’s piece. Ask for assistance if necessary.

5. You must finish your share. Besides it being a terrible waste, you’ll be scorned by the Gatsby Fraternity for all time for being vesin.

6. Grip is critical. Cup your piece in your hand so that loose bits have nowhere to fall except back into your hands. Avoid the scenario described in Point 3.

7. NEVER leave the Gatsby unattended.

8. It’s best to accompany the Gatsby with a beverage, ie Jive, Frulati or Cabana. Hearty burping guarantees relief.

9. Observe relative silence when consuming the Gatsby. No one likes to talk and eat at the same time. See Point 1 regarding cold chips.

10. Always wash hands with soap and water at the conclusion to avoid getting a spicy finger in the eye, a condition commonly known as Gatsby Eye. The only cure is self-induced crying. No one wants to see that, so just make the trip and wash your damn hands.

11. The bra (person) that contributes the least towards the gatsby gets the smallest piece.

12. The Gatsby is not supposed to be eaten out of a plate, so make sure you ask the BB.Sc (Bra Behind Shop Counter) to doublewrap the Gatsby to ensure enough paper for everyone.

13. Avoid eye contact with anyone not eating the Gatsby for fear of them asking for a “stukkie” (piece) or shouting “kap ‘n baat” (give me a piece).

14. When sipping on the Frulati, make sure you only have 2 sips then pass… anyone attempting more than 2 sips forfeit the next round.

15. Nothing on the Gatsby is to be wasted (refer point 5), that includes any salads or sauces still remaining in the paper… lick it up!

16. When the Gatsby is finished, it’s obligatory to finish the ritual with a cigarette, beware though of anyone asking for “‘n skyf” (drag); thus make sure you get some sauce on the filter of the cigarette to avoid having to share your “entjie” (butt).

So, if like me you enjoy a ginormous sandwich with everything on it, and it is your first time, follow these simple rules and you will be fine.

/I wonder if that kaffie in Atlantis still exists...selling his Gatsbys.