I'll probably end up like the old lady who lives in the house in the corner. She walks her dogs once a day, lets them shit all over my lawn and mumbles to herself (NOT the dogs). And proceeds to keep an eye on the people who live between her and I (they're black you know! And in her opinion that is a bad thing.)
J&C have gone back to school again, 3rd term, so no more excuses for clearing out all the crap that has accumulated in our study over the last 2 years. Himself and I, we have a problem. It's not that we don't like living in a tidy uncluttered space, just that we can't be bothered to deal with the day to day accumulation of junk mail, bills, post that seems to arrive out of the blue. Don't get me wrong, we pay our bills on time, we just can't be bothered filing it all away for the next 5 years, or even chucking it.
Then there is also the question of what to do with Himself's collection of golf paraphernalia, assorted golf bags and other junk that suppliers constantly give him. His collection of cds, stiffies (not those! Computer stiffies dork!), music dvds and cds. Did I mention cds? And a printer that is collecting dust monsters, assorted wires and shit. I'd be very surprised in the coming weeks to find that nothing has mutated into something that is alive! Frankenstein would have a field day in my study.
So, for the next week or so I will be attempting to clear out 2 years worth of ...junk. If you don't hear anything from me, send a search party please!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Chillies do burn you know!
Especially when you crush one from the little plant that has totally dried out so you can plant the seeds....and then stick your finger in your eye an hour later after forgetting to wash the residual oil off your finger!
Ja, I'm a dork like that.
Ja, I'm a dork like that.
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Life goes on...
For a few days now I have been contemplating whether I should post what I am about to post. I don't normally hang my life out on the web for all to see but lately more and more people have been opening up to me irl and online about losses they have had in their past that they are ashamed of. I'm not talking the normal losses like miscarriage or still birth. I'm talking about abortion. Abortion for convenience and abortion because of medical issues, mostly with the babies.
On July 15 1997 at a little over 2.30pm our son Sam was born. I was almost 24 weeks pregnant. I had known I was pregnant for all of about 6 weeks or so. I went from having a blood test that said I was between 7 and 8 weeks to my first ob/gyn visit telling me I was more like 20 weeks to finding out that not only was I 20 weeks and a few days, but our little boy had a serious brain malformation and that it was serious enough to warrant a termination. We had 2 weeks to decide what we wanted to do. We opted for a termination on the advice of several specialists in fetal medicine.
Life was pretty dark there for a long time, I never ever thought that 10 years later I would be ok with myself and everything we went through. It didn't help at times that people called me a baby killer or asked if I ever considered the life I took. The reality of an abortion is that it is the taking of a life but when you go from sublime bliss to utter darkness within the space of 6 weeks like we did, you do the best you can. You muddle through until the light comes on again and you feel able to breathe. What all those pro-lifer-we-don't-give-a-shit types forget is that at the end of the day we are all human, we all make our mistakes and live our lives. And no matter what you say to us or make us feel, we've already done all that and worse to ourselves anyway.
The guilt that someone feels after taking the life of their baby is unlike any other guilt I have ever experienced. It's all consuming all the time. The rest of 1997 went by in a shitty dark ugly blur of a mess for me. By Christmas Himself and I, we were in limbo. I wasn't pregnant again despite all the trying and manic monitoring of my cycle. All I wanted was to have my baby back, to erase all that had happened and to have a perfect little baby growing inside of me.
Ten years later, and I have worked through all the darkness. I am comfortable enough within myself to acknowledge that while I took a life, I can live with it. I have a wonderful family that would not otherwise have been if not for that one small act. A family I would give my life for. I am at peace.
While the pain of losing a baby will always be part of my personality, life goes on. He would have been 10 years old this November.
On July 15 1997 at a little over 2.30pm our son Sam was born. I was almost 24 weeks pregnant. I had known I was pregnant for all of about 6 weeks or so. I went from having a blood test that said I was between 7 and 8 weeks to my first ob/gyn visit telling me I was more like 20 weeks to finding out that not only was I 20 weeks and a few days, but our little boy had a serious brain malformation and that it was serious enough to warrant a termination. We had 2 weeks to decide what we wanted to do. We opted for a termination on the advice of several specialists in fetal medicine.
Life was pretty dark there for a long time, I never ever thought that 10 years later I would be ok with myself and everything we went through. It didn't help at times that people called me a baby killer or asked if I ever considered the life I took. The reality of an abortion is that it is the taking of a life but when you go from sublime bliss to utter darkness within the space of 6 weeks like we did, you do the best you can. You muddle through until the light comes on again and you feel able to breathe. What all those pro-lifer-we-don't-give-a-shit types forget is that at the end of the day we are all human, we all make our mistakes and live our lives. And no matter what you say to us or make us feel, we've already done all that and worse to ourselves anyway.
The guilt that someone feels after taking the life of their baby is unlike any other guilt I have ever experienced. It's all consuming all the time. The rest of 1997 went by in a shitty dark ugly blur of a mess for me. By Christmas Himself and I, we were in limbo. I wasn't pregnant again despite all the trying and manic monitoring of my cycle. All I wanted was to have my baby back, to erase all that had happened and to have a perfect little baby growing inside of me.
Ten years later, and I have worked through all the darkness. I am comfortable enough within myself to acknowledge that while I took a life, I can live with it. I have a wonderful family that would not otherwise have been if not for that one small act. A family I would give my life for. I am at peace.
While the pain of losing a baby will always be part of my personality, life goes on. He would have been 10 years old this November.
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
I don't get it.
The obsession with guns that is. Maybe it's because I grew up in a household where guns weren't even discussed or maybe it's the time as a 5yo I came out of my uncle's room holding his .357 and everyone erupted out of sheer panic. One of my earliest childhood memories, that one.
I get that for some it's a right to own one, I get that. I get that you have to protect yourself and the bigger the gun the bigger the feeling of security. I get it. What I don't get is the look someone gives you when you say you have never owned nor intend to own one. Or the look you get when you tell someone that your child does not and never will own or play with a toy gun. It's like you've gone insane.
I respect your wishes so why can't you respect mine?
I get that for some it's a right to own one, I get that. I get that you have to protect yourself and the bigger the gun the bigger the feeling of security. I get it. What I don't get is the look someone gives you when you say you have never owned nor intend to own one. Or the look you get when you tell someone that your child does not and never will own or play with a toy gun. It's like you've gone insane.
I respect your wishes so why can't you respect mine?
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
The African Bush
We were in the Pilanesberg Park over the weekend, with 3 foreigners visiting our soil. We Africans tend to be so blase about our stunning wildlife that we often forget what attracts foreigners to our game parks.
Lion getting up to move the carcass
Showing us his well hung assets :)
Pulling on the carcass
Hiding behind the zebra carcass
We started off at the Manyane gate at 6.30am on Saturday morning and not 100m into the park there was a lone male lion that had killed a huge zebra during the night. By the time we saw him, he'd wiggled the zebra into the undergrowth under a thorn tree. He'd managed to drag the carcass about 150m from the road on his own. He'd killed it almost in the road because there were definate signs of a monumental struggle and the zebra's guts were just off the road in the reeds. We probably spent a good 40 minutes watching him, as did many others coming into the park. After driving around for another hour or so we went back to Manyane to have breakfast and pick up our other visitor who'd decided to sleep in. By the time we got back into the park at around 9am, the male lion had flopped down in the reeds out of sight, but that did not stop the cars piling up to see a glimpse. He teased us every now and then by lifting his tail above the reeds, getting excited yells from everyone in their vehicles. The carcass was still wedged into the bush but the lion was nowhere to be seen.
The rest of the day our visitors couldn't get enough of talking about the lion and how they'd seen him drag the zebra around as if it weighed nothing. Honestly, if we'd seen nothing else for the rest of the day, they would still have been excited about it. Luckily we saw some elephant (nearly got charged by one!), giraffe, loads of buck....and for us too a first - a brown hyena. The photo we managed to get is so blurry though you can just make out the classic hyena shape.
Brown hyena
The two Chinese visitors were in absolute awe from the minute we got to Manyane until we left, even the baboons at the reception and restaurant area entranced them. The German visitor (a young boy of 17) had seen it all before and as only a teen can be, he feigned a bit of teenage boredom. Himself downloaded about 4 gigs of photos from our one Chinese friend (yes he clicked away almost nonstop but got some spectacular photos!).
J and C were more concerned about how much longer we were going to drive around....were we done yet.....when were we going to stop for lunch.....as typical 8 and 6 year old kids on a boring game drive can be. Overall they were pretty well behaved, even falling asleep at the back of the vehicle at one point and finally giving us some peace!
The next time you find yourself in Gauteng, make a point of visiting the Pilanesberg Park. It's an extinct alkaline volcano, one of only 3 in the world, and the most perfect example out of the 3. It's 1300 million years old.
Lion getting up to move the carcass
Showing us his well hung assets :)
Pulling on the carcass
Hiding behind the zebra carcass
We started off at the Manyane gate at 6.30am on Saturday morning and not 100m into the park there was a lone male lion that had killed a huge zebra during the night. By the time we saw him, he'd wiggled the zebra into the undergrowth under a thorn tree. He'd managed to drag the carcass about 150m from the road on his own. He'd killed it almost in the road because there were definate signs of a monumental struggle and the zebra's guts were just off the road in the reeds. We probably spent a good 40 minutes watching him, as did many others coming into the park. After driving around for another hour or so we went back to Manyane to have breakfast and pick up our other visitor who'd decided to sleep in. By the time we got back into the park at around 9am, the male lion had flopped down in the reeds out of sight, but that did not stop the cars piling up to see a glimpse. He teased us every now and then by lifting his tail above the reeds, getting excited yells from everyone in their vehicles. The carcass was still wedged into the bush but the lion was nowhere to be seen.
The rest of the day our visitors couldn't get enough of talking about the lion and how they'd seen him drag the zebra around as if it weighed nothing. Honestly, if we'd seen nothing else for the rest of the day, they would still have been excited about it. Luckily we saw some elephant (nearly got charged by one!), giraffe, loads of buck....and for us too a first - a brown hyena. The photo we managed to get is so blurry though you can just make out the classic hyena shape.
Brown hyena
The two Chinese visitors were in absolute awe from the minute we got to Manyane until we left, even the baboons at the reception and restaurant area entranced them. The German visitor (a young boy of 17) had seen it all before and as only a teen can be, he feigned a bit of teenage boredom. Himself downloaded about 4 gigs of photos from our one Chinese friend (yes he clicked away almost nonstop but got some spectacular photos!).
J and C were more concerned about how much longer we were going to drive around....were we done yet.....when were we going to stop for lunch.....as typical 8 and 6 year old kids on a boring game drive can be. Overall they were pretty well behaved, even falling asleep at the back of the vehicle at one point and finally giving us some peace!
The next time you find yourself in Gauteng, make a point of visiting the Pilanesberg Park. It's an extinct alkaline volcano, one of only 3 in the world, and the most perfect example out of the 3. It's 1300 million years old.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
I finally caved a while back and opened a Twitter account. Now I get to stalk some famous people! Like Kevin Spacey and Neil Gaimman.
I log on maybe once a week or so, sometimes I don't even tweet.
Every other day though I get requests from total random internet peeps to follow my updates. Why would people do that? How do they do that? Weird....
I log on maybe once a week or so, sometimes I don't even tweet.
Every other day though I get requests from total random internet peeps to follow my updates. Why would people do that? How do they do that? Weird....
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